I'm with Stupid

Eurovision night was a thing of wonder which began with Strictly Come Dancing (I may be biased, but it is great) and ended in the Black Cap.

There was a lot of dancing with a topless man, which ended up with me taking him home. The only problem was that Lee was staying over in the living room. It wasn't so much the performance anxiety of knowing Lee would be lying sleepless next door, glass pressed to the wall, marking everything down on a scorecard. No, no it wasn't so much that as the walk home, with Lee announcing "You know, of course, I hate him."

I suspect Lee was against the poor fellow because he was that winning combination of stupid and arrogant.

I have nothing against one night stands with intelligent people - indeed, the pillow-talk is fascinating. But the advantage of shagging stupid cocky men is that you don't get round to pillow talk.

I may sound as though I'm being hard on him (pause. memories. giggle) - but I'm not. He was an Australian Cockney - all laughter, cheap cigarettes and opinions without thought. He was a cameraman for News24.