Why aren't you reading The Historian?

The Historian is the best book you’ll read this year because:

1) Literary Quest! (Dan Brown, but with nice writing)
2) Conspiracy Theories!
3) Secret Societies!
4) Epistolary layers (Sometimes 5 simulataneous stories within stories!)
5) Sexy librarians in peril!
6) It’s written by an American, so….
7) European travel with nice hotel rooms!
8) Comedy foreigners trying to speak English!
9) Frequent Death!
10) Literary Sex Scenes! (featuring the words “alabaster” and “crescent”)
11) 700 pages (therefore a Serious Work of Fiction)
12) Hilarious plot-point about death stalking people who borrow a Penguin Classic (imagine The Ring, but about Mansfield Park! I *know*!)
13) Ooh, and Vampires!

Walk, don’t run to the shops!